Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

Today I wake up and the first thing I listen to when I get in my car to go to work is Jesse McCartney's "Leavin."  Why? Because it was one of your VERY FAVORITE songs. I only listen to it in special moments because it reminds me of you. When I listen to it it's almost as though I can see you in the passenger seat next to me doing one of your little Amber dances.

Today I go running and think of you. Because I can.

Today I dance "The HoeDown ThrowDown" by Hannah Montana like we did at your wedding.

Today I write a blog post about you because on this very day it's been 2 years since you left this mortal existence. And I miss you, but I'm at peace knowing without a doubt that I will see you again one day. And am so grateful for all the happy, special memories we have.

Today I call Britt and we talk about how much we love you and I read quotes from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

While it may seem too personal to others for me to write all of this, to me, it's how I cope. By letting you live on through remembering you and ensuring that others know all about you, and how amazing and important you are to me. You are my best friend.

Today I listen to a song from one of my favorite Sidney Poitier movies, To Sir With Love cause I think it describes our friendship.

"But how do you thank someone

who has taken you from crayons to perfume?

It isn't easy

But I'll try

....

A friend who taught me right from wrong

and weak from strong

that's a lot to learn"

I will try to be as good a friend to others as you were and still are to me.

Today I laugh at the pictures we took when we insisted my mom do a photo shoot of us my freshman year of college. Here they are:

And finally, today in  your honor I share a story that you LOVED telling everyone we met, no matter how much it embarressed me.  You so lovingly named it, SEVEN PEAKS-A-BOOB.

Summer of '08 Me, You and Mary decided, in a lapse of judgment, to go to the Seven Peaks Water Park in Provo, UT. It's sketchy and dirty at best. We rented a 2 man tube and a single tube. You and Mary had just made me go on the scariest ride ALONE and all I wanted to do was relax in the lazy river. Thus, I left you two and went floating ALONE. I'd been floating by myself for approx. 10 minutes, with my eyes closed (this fact is important later), when I hear you and Mary EVER SO LOUDLY cackling down the way. I opened my eyes to see what could possibly cause such uproarious laughter but couldn't get either of you to stop laughing long enough to tell me what was so funny.  After about a minute of trying to get ya'll to speak through the tears, I looked down.  That's when I saw it.  My cute, brand new, bandeau, giraffe print swimsuit from Gap had failed me.    The entire left side of my top had fallen ALL THE WAY off my chest.  And I'd been floating the lazy river like that FOR 10 MINUTES. It was MORTIFYING. MORTIFYING.  Who knows how many people had seen and not told me OR how many family photos I am in accidentally flashing people in the background. We laughed and cried the rest of the day about it and you lovingly named it "Seven Peaks a Boob." 

Well Amber, this laugh is for you. Love you.