Monday, May 27, 2013

And the World Turned.

Today this encompasses all my thoughts:

It's odd to think it's been 3 years and the world keeps turning.  

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Suddenly, I feel old.

Suddenly, I feel old. And no, it's not because I'm 27 and hurt my back posing as Beyonce, it's because makes me feel old.

Especially when they post articles entitled 43 Things That Will Make You Feel Old

I read this article and was SHOCKED. Seriously?! 

JTT is over 30?!?!?! 

I swear. In my head, all childhood actors stay the exact same age as they were when I was little and swooning over every picture of them in Teen Beat, Teen Bop, Teen People, J-14, etc, etc. You name the magazine, I probably owned every issue (which looking back is probably unhealthy considering most of those bad boys came out weekly). 

Anyway, everybody knows childhood actors never age.  And if they happen to be one of the few that do...well...they usually don't age well.

In my state of shock and surprise upon reading buzzfeed's allegation that this childhood hearthrob was over 30 I turned to the most trusted source I know for confirmation...Wikipedia.

And guys, here's what I found out...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

1. He's turning 32 this year. I don't understand how this is possible.

2. He's been lying to us his whole life. He's no JTT. He was born Jonathan Taylor Weiss.  JTW does NOT have the same ring to it, but that is how I will refer to him now because it's his true identity.

3. He's bloody brilliant. Guys, he went to Harvard and then completed his degree at Columbia. Not just a pretty face.

4. He's a vegetarian. Which is pretty unfortunate because I don't really trust vegetarians. I mean, come on, how can you trust someone who doesn't eat meat?  I have a couple of exceptions to that know who you are...

But perhaps the most important fact about JTW that's not listed in Wikipedia is this....

He's the reason for my first and only fist fight.

Ok, before I proceed, this needs to be a judge-free zone.  It was right before middle school (which started in 6th grade for me) and we all know that middle school is rough. If you can survive those few years I'm convinced you can survive anything. And I mean, ANYTHING.  Unless of course your middle school experience rocked, in which case, we have nothing in common.

Middle school was just awkward. It has all of the workings of a good horror film. Everyone's hormones are out of whack and it makes us all do stupid things and creates a lot of aggression in boys. 

My early middle school years really hit their peak during the Lion King era. I already loved JTW and the fact that he was the voice of Simba...well...double love.  Courtesy of my step-mom, my room at my dad's house may have been decked out in Lion King theme during this phase. Remember you're not allowed to judge - we already established this was a judge-free zone. 

So my room was decked in Lion King and my school locker was decked out in JTW. There was a girl at school who didn't particularly like me, but we were still friends (typical middle school vibe going on here).  She thought she could have my fave JTW picture hanging in my locker just because she wanted it.  So one day, during PE, she stole it from me. I didn't discover it was missing until after gym class. Well, the little sneak was not so sneaky because she'd hung it up in her locker IN PLAIN SIGHT so I knew she was the culprit.

Naturally, I grabbed it out of her locker in an attempt to reclaim what was rightfully mine.  And that's when she hit me.  

She straight up HIT ME. Full fist and all. And then TORE UP MY one-of-a-kind TEEN BEAT POSTER. 


I know. Neither could I.

I obviously had to hit her back. 

We got a phew blows in before the gym teacher could stop us. It was traumatizing to say the least. I didn't know I had it in me.  I guess it just take the right type of provoking, such as ripping up my JTW poster, to get me riled up. 

bottom line. I think Wikipedia needs to add this to their stats to ensure all their information is entirely accurate.


Milk {and age} does a body good.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Beyoncé should come with a warning sign.

Alright. We all know Beyoncé is fierce or else her alter-ego wouldn't literally be Sasha FIERCE.  It wasn't until last week though that I realized just HOW FIERCE this Queen B truly is.

But let me back it up a bit and start with this. I've been living by a new life motto lately (thanks to my friend Jody who coined it): Be Beyoncé.

So obviously I'm still me and I love being me, BUT I have rather enjoyed "living as B" lately.  Here's the thing... being B is more like a shift in thought. A more care-free, calm shift in thought.  I am typically one who worries a lot about things that may or may not happen and often care what others may think of me and stress about it. Here's where the shift in thought comes in. Think about it.  

Let's say someone breaks up with you or you lose a job or something else happens that could bring you way down for a bit. Well, instead of worrying about it and getting all worked up in sorrows you switch on your B power.  What would B do in this situation?  She would recognize the hurt, accept it, realize it's a part of her, and then step forward to do something great such as writing a song lyrics that says, "You can leave with me or you can have the blues" (taken from her song EGO). In other words, she wouldn't let it get her down.  She would use it do something empowering and hopefully good.

I'm not saying it's an excuse to be a diva or anything. I mean I'm not going to have my own rider like hers anytime soon. But, I think there is a real power in not letting things get to you.  You just use it as a chance to improve and take power in what you want out of life.  Essentially, this sums up how I feel: (If you haven't seen it watch through the end, or fast forward, it's amaze)


Basically, I want to do and be the good in this world and you can't do that if you let yourself worry too much. She knows what her strengths are and she uses them.

So here's the problem.  I have been loving this new motto so much it's become a bit of a joke among friends and co-works. And I finally took it one step too far. I should have known it was dangerous to even attempt to have the same fierceness as B. I mean, there is ONLY ONE B, but I attempted anyway...and it wasn't a good one.

B has a certain stance she turns to often. Case in point:

So, in the excitement over my new hat I got for my fabulous cousin and her fabulous wedding I was joking around with the co-works and channeling my best B pose. (You can see I have some work to do)


And that's when it happened. I did a runway turn and went to pose on the other side, arching my back in a bit too quick of a motion because the next thing I know there is a shooting pain in my back. 

It still hurts. It's still recovering.  

When pics of B are published they should be accompanied with the caption:

"WARNING! Don't try this at home. It's too fierce!"

I learned my lesson. Channel the inner fierceness of B, but leave the diva pose to her.  She does it best anyway.