Monday, February 28, 2011

The art of the HUMBLEBRAG

one word
verb, noun, adjective, any use really.
1. Fain complaining while patting yourself on the back.
2. When a person compliments him- or herself by pretending to complain of a difficulty.

The HUMBLEBRAG. We are ALL guilty of it at some point. I'm not saying HUMBLEBRAGS are a bad thing. Bottom line- they just make me laugh.

1. "Oh it was so annoying.  I was talking with William Shatner last night and he kept saying
'sabatAge' instead of 'sabatOge'."
(SIDE NOTE: This is a quote from a co-worker on the art of the humblebrag)

TRANSLATION: Yes, the fact William Shatner says "sabatAge" rather than "sabatOge" may actually be annoying.  But really, the point of the story is just to tell us how you've been chatting it up with William Shatner.

2.  "It's so annoying. My size 2 jeans are baggy on me."

TRANSLATION: I have lost weight. Please notice. But I didn't really have any weight to lose because I was a size 2 to begin with.

3. Courtesy of "Is it a bad sign if I've gone out with someone who's played a killer on ?"

TRANSLATION: Guess what? I went out with someone who was on Dexter!!!

HUMBLEBRAGS. I find them amusing.

Friday, February 25, 2011

25 is a good number

i like lists, the number 25, and birthdays.  it just so happens this year is my golden birthday. I will be 25 on the 25th. That is exactly one month from today.  So it figures I should make a list of 25 items I want to become or accomplish during my 25th year.

Some I may accomplish. Some may roll over to next year. Either way. I like having a list.

  1.  Learn a second language. Spanish or French? Maybe both. We'll see.
  2. Skydiving.
  3. Write my book.  I have been "writing" it for a while now but this time I have an end date in mind.
  4. Submit a recipe to a recipe contest. somewhere. undecided as of now.
  5. Run the D.C. 1/2 Marathon.  Just so happens it's the day after my birthday. So i will be celebrating the actually day by going to bed early.  But then again that's another reason to celebrate birthday week not just birthday day.
  6. Travel to a new place. Spain? I could practice my Spanish there. And eat good food. Or maybe Peru?
  7. Blog more.
  8. Be a better friend, daughter, sister, and aunt.  I seriously have the most amazing people in my life.  All of you. If I know you and you are reading this I am glad you are in my life. I want to make sure that I never take anyone for granted. I'm not always the best at expressing how I really feel about people but I want to be better at it.
  9. Be more patient.  The days are long but the years are short. Some things take time. I want to enjoy each day more.
  10. Find a job I love.
  11. Call a friend that doesn't live near me every week and catch up with them.
  12. Read at least ONE new book every month.
  13.  Bike through Lancaster County
  14. Shower at a flying J's-  Yes, I do realize this is really weird. But for some reason since I was younger and I heard them yell "shower 3 is open" I've always thought it'd be funny. 
  15. Milk a cow. Never done it. Always wanted to.
  16. Raft through the Grand Canyon
  17. Learn to do a handstand
  18. Find a cause I really believe in and then volunteer with them or help raise money for them.
  19. See Garth Brooks in concert
  20.  Laugh at myself more
  21. Drive across America from coast to coast
  22. Go fishing. Catch a fish. Cook it for dinner.
  23. Send  a message in a bottle. Pointless? Probably. Still...I've never done it.
  24. Let go of my fears that hold me back.
  25. Learn a new sport. Ice Skating? Skateboarding? Golf?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

An excuse to write TEXAS in really big letters.

Alright. After a brief sabbatical from the blogging world I have returned with a renewed motivation to be part of the blog-o-sphere again.

In some ways, a lot has happened since my last post. In other ways, things are pretty much still the same. 

Tonight I'm at the mall. I plan on running in for 2 minutes to go to 2 stores- Williams Sonoma and J. Crew to potentially buy these 2 items:

1. Fleur de Sel- In my opinion, the best salt out there. I know what you're thinking.  Salt is salt.  But by no means is this any old salt. It is the perfect salt for salty/sweet treats like homemade salted caramels...yum.

Chambray shirtdress.  It may not look like much in this pic, but when you put it on it's the perf combo of boy meets girl meets country casual and sleek all at the same time.

Well...I get there at 7:00 and they aren't supposed to close until 9:00. Both are already closed. One b/c of a fire alarm the other for remodeling.  So random the 2 stores out of 100 that I could go to are both closed.

So as I'm walking out of the mall this kid stops me. And by kid I mean he was older than J Biebs. Yes, J Biebs = Justin Bieber. So if he's older than him he's not really a kid at all. So anyway, he stops me and says,

"You are very pretty. I just thought you should know."  Totally made my night. I just love nice, random strangers. 

It sure beats some of the other random strangers compliments of the year.  Brief recap:

1. I'm in New York minding my own business with a few of my girlfriends when out of nowhere this dude walks right up to me.  Gets in my face and says, "Has anyone ever told you, you have BEAUTIFUL nostrils? I mean seriously, they are BEAUTIFUL."  I'm pretty sure all nostrils look the same. But thanks?? I guess...

2. Driving home from work in bumper to bumper traffic, as per the usual. SIDE NOTE: There's got to be a way to fix the RIDIC traffic prob here.  Anyway, I notice the man in the van next to me is trying to talk to me.  Thinking that perhaps I have a flat tire, he needs directions, etc. I proceed to roll down the window.  What happened next I was NOT expecting. 

Van Man: "Damn. Are you really from Texas?" (yes, I made "Texas" large because everything is bigger there. Didn't you know?)

Me: Slightly confused. Man in the Van knows that how?? Oh yeah, I still have TX plates. So I reply, "Yes sir. Why?"

Van Man: "Well I just can't believe it. You the FINEST little thing I seen come out of Texas in a while. Most of them women I see coming out of there is all BIG and hefty.  But you. You're a tight little thing."

Me: no words. just laugher.

Van Man: "You have a good day you hear. And bring more girls out here from Texas if they look like you."

Yep. That's a conversation I never thought I'd have in my car at rush hour. Or ever for that matter.

3. Looking at a map at the Louvre in Paris when this frenchman comes up to me, a la the movie Taken style.

Frenchy: "Scuse me. You lost?"

Me: "No just planning out where I want to go next."

Frenchy: "Aah. Are you American then? Are you here alone? I show you around."

Me: "Sorry I don't really speak English." Clearly I do. But clearly he got the hint because he picked up his backpack and walked back to the middle of the atrium of the Louvre where I watched him look around until he could probably find another person to approach.

So random stranger who made my day at the mall thank you for your kind compliment. As for nostril boy, Van Man, and Frenchy thanks for the laughs.