Things I Could Do Without...

One of the jokes we have in my office is a running list of "things that make you vomit." Not literally. It's just a list of things YOU COULD DO WITHOUT. Here's my elite list: 

1. EELS. I can't explain it.  I've always hated them. It's totally and completely irrational but I can't help it.  Even the word gives me the heebie-jeebies. I mean seriously...don't they make you cringe?           I can't even think about them.              One time I tried to take scuba diving lessons in order to conquer my fear.  Then I realized some fears aren't worth conquering.    I feigned sickness on my final dive so as to avoid coming face to face with these creatures.      I would probably pass out if that ever happened.
2.  PEARS.  They make me gag.    End of story.    Ironically enough, I had fake pears hanging from my ceiling for 5 years growing up, a la Shabby Chic style.
3. TERMITES. I just discovered I don't like these.     I showed up at work this morning and they were spraying for them.    There were a lot of them.    It was gross.
4. STINK BUGS. I mean, I feel this should go without saying.  They have these little pre-historic eyes that stare at you. If dinosaurs are now extinct there's no reason these little guys shouldn't be extinct too.  The worst part about it is they are impossible to get rid of. You kill them and their scent just attracts more stink bugs. It's a HUGE problem. And The Washington Post says they're going to be worse than ever this Summer.   Even more of a problem- when they sneak into my car from work and I am driving home and suddenly one appears on my dashboard and I almost wreck trying to get rid of it.  Give me ANY other bug and they don't bother me nearly as much.   
5. DENTISTS/ENDODONTISTS. Alright, I get that dentists are important and useful.  And normally I don't have a problem with them. I mean I've never had to have braces or a retainer really. But here's why they were quickly added to the list: 

I feel like all my recent dental visits are reminiscent of Steve Martin in the musical Little Shop of Horrors:

Freaky right?! Who would want to go to the dentist after watching that? NO ONE. And yet, I've been there ALL WEEK.  In fact, this is my first day this week WITHOUT some sort of dental appointment.  You see, my dentist drilled too far on Monday and hit a nerve.     

 I wasn't numb.

 I cried. 

Because I had an exposed nerve from the drilling I had to go in for an emergency root canal. 

The endodontist didn't have time to do everything at once.

So I had to come back the next day.

Which means I've been on pain meds the past few days. 

 I guess the one good thing is I get really funny when I'm on pain meds...or so I think...

The best part is that my PH isn't balanced. I don't even know what that means. All I know is it means I can't absorb the numbing shot very well thus, exposing me to almost every poke, prod, or drilling. Let me just tell you how fun that was. NOT VERY.  

Hence, my life feeling like I have Steve Martin as my dentist.  I guess on the bright side...I've always wanted my life to be a musical...I just don't think I want it to involve Steve Martin and a dental chair ever again.

* I should also mention that the endodontist has called me each night to make sure I'm doing alright. It's not his fault my body won't take the numbing. It's still not fun though.