Aries, Aquarius, Capricorn, LEO...

Ok, really this post has nothing to do with zodiac signs, as the title suggests, and everything to do with LEO...sort of. But I figured if it was simply titled "Leonardo DiCaprio" you may not read it.  But...you've already clicked onto my blog so you may as well continue... 

Here goes...

It all started with this face:

A Young Leo

Yes, that is Leonardo DiCaprio in Growing Pains.  He may look "ensembly challenged" (shout out to Clueless), but let me tell you that as a child of the 80's he NEVER LOOKED BETTER in this young 8 year old girl's eyes.

Little did I know that these early days of watching Growing Pains were only the beginning...

Then...there was TITANIC.





Partially because of my fascination with this watery tale and partially (or mostly) because of Leonardo DiCaprio's starring role in this film...as a young 12 year old...I saw this movie 17 times in the theater.  That's right.  It's embarrassing.  And now looking back on it a TOTAL waste of time.  And yet, your eyes have not deceived you.  You read that correctly. 17 times (I'll make it a little bigger for you so you know you're reading it correctly)

This number does not include the number of times I watched my bootleg copy of it...on VHS...BEFORE it was released to the public.

 Because I have the most wonderful sister in the world (and because she probably felt guilty for sneaking all of her friends into my room when I wasn't home so they could see her sister's ridiculous Leo/Boyband plastered bedroom walls) she got a copy of the film from her friend, Ryan, who had a 3rd generation copy from the screen actor's guild pre-Oscars viewing VHS tapes.  It had been copied 4 times which meant that most of the time when I was watching it there would be lines running across the screen...another reason to miss VHS tapes.

As if seeing the movie and being able to quote it word for word wasn't enough, it was time for a trip to L.A. My mom, in her ever adventurous spirit, conceded to my brilliant idea that we stop in L.A. for a few days on our drive up to Oregon.  Please keep in mind that I was in 5th grade at the time...it makes the story a little less creepy.

And so, the 4 of us (my mom, brother, one of my girlfriends, and me) set off on our excursion!

I knew exactly what I wanted to do while I was there- hit up his fav. restaurants, hotspots, stores and more.  If I went to all these places I was sure I would see him.  Certainly in all of L.A. he'd be at one of these places at the EXACT same time as me. 

Well...I would love to say that we ended up runnng into Leo and he asked me to co-star in his next film, but alas, no such thing happened.

Instead...here's what happened.  And frankly, I find it alot more random than being asked to co-star next to Leo.

There I was.  A young 12 year old conquering the streets of L.A.  In case you don't know what I looked like at 12 one word will describe it- snappable.  I was super tall and lengthy with knobby knees that were larger than my upper thigh. Chuck Norris probably could have snapped me in half with his pinky. Additionally, I had bottle cap glasses.  Needless to say, it was an awkward phase of my life.

So here I am this young, awkward girl strolling down the streets of Rodeo Dr. on her way to Fred Segal (not only Leo's fav spot to shop but it also allows for another Clueless shout out "Where's my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal?") minding my own business...when suddenly...

I see a man walking towards me in his moth-eaten Joe's Crab Shack shirt. I can still picture what this man looked like to this day. His shirt probably said, "Got Crabs?" on it, I feel like that's what all the shirts from that place stay, but I couldn't tell because it was so ratty.

And then there was the smirk on his face.  I should've known he was up to something by  that smirk, but UNBEKNOWNST to me I didn't realize I would soon fall victim to that smirk! 

The next thing I know, not only is this man walking towards me, but he begins to raise his arm and move it in a forward motion punching me right in the sternum while simultaneously mumbling "stupid little rich girl."

 

Having just had all the air knocked out of me, I was clearly doubled-over on the pavement. And in shock.

By the time I could stop sobbing and catch my breath to explain what just happened my brother was ready to take off and fight him. Afraid my bro would get hurt by going after him, my friend and I both grab onto his ankles to stop him. 

 I mean, luckily L.A. is full of hot messes so really 4 people causing a scene on the street was nothing new. However, we were QUITE the site. My brother trying to run after Joe (I figure that considering his choice of apparely Joe is a good name for him), but not succeeding cause he has two 12 year olds wrapped around his ankle, one of which is sobbing so hard she might pass out. And my mom standing in front of my brother to block him while yelling to get us off the dirty street.

It was quite the traumatic experience.  But don't worry, it all ended well.  We made it to Fred Segal and then dined at Indochine where, although we did not see Leo, we did see Anne Heche and Ellen Degeneres on a date.  So there you go. Not a total loss of a trip. This 12 year old was happy just to have a celebrity sighting.

So here's the real reason for this story.  My cubemate Jon informed me this morning that Leo was in town filming a scene for one of his new movies.  I still adore him.  But it's more of an admiration of his acting these days (or at least that's what I tell people). I'd like to say that I don't care anymore, but instantly, the 12 year old inside of me was screaming "LEAVE WORK YOU IDIOT! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!  YOU MISSED HIM 13 YEARS AGO AND NOW IS YOUR TIME"

Well...if I weren't missing 5 days of work next week...I'd feel a "fever" coming on right about now...and that fever would happen to take me directly to his filming location...